First Update In Almost One Year

 Here we are in Lake Anna, VA, in November 2017. My mother-in-law took this photo as we got to visit ALL of our families over a three week period. We braved the 22 hour journey flying east with four children six and under, and then turned around and did it all over again. haha! I think I asked nearly every person that I came in contact with before our flight to pray for us. God totally blessed and the kids did really well over all. We might have missed our first flight and the last flight home from Tokyo which left us stranded at a bus stop, in 30 degree weather, with 4 car seats, 5 suitcases, 5 back packs, and 4 children. But hey, they gave us a free hotel stay and thanks to jet lag we got to get our day started partying in our rooms at 2:00am. Life would be so boring without these fun interruptions. We were even hooked up with a couple flights that had extra seats given to our family for free! Woo Hoo! So if you prayed for us, thank you! ...and don't stop. ;)

I realized that I had yet to post about our little new addition, Noah Andrew Griffin. It's hard to believe that he is five months old now! Mom, I'm sorry for ever being mad that you didn't have more pictures of me as a little kid. Having a fourth child of my own now, I totally get it! Haha! You were teaching Kindergarten, living as a Scottish, military wife in Japan, going through deployments, and serving in ministry every weekend with four kids in tow. Now I look back and totally admire the joy you always had being with ALL of us kids, we were never a drain to you (at least you never let us know the truth ;), and somehow, we were always matching and looked clean and adorable. You are my hero. Who needs pictures when I have memories carved into my heart of the loving mother you were and always have been. I wonder how different our lives would be if selfies and insta-everythings were taken away. How would the world now how incrediblly perfect and filtered we were? We'd have to love each other and serve others as unto the Lord without...anyone...knowing! Crazy talk. ;) I'm being facetious and in a round about way praising my Mum, and giving the reason as to why I am just now posting any kind of update. Life has been full, full of good things.

If I'm honest, life has also been full of hard things. This past year I have been doing a lot of wrestling inside my heart. God has slowly peeled back layers like an onion of my carefully covered pride, arrogance, self-preservation, anger, jealousy, and lies that I've allowed myself to claim as truths. It was (and is!) an incredibly humbling experience that I'm not sure I can even put into words. I just fell under such conviction that I couldn't write anything no matter how may times I sat down to begin. I didn't trust my motives. Did I want to proclaim a word of encouragement, or did I want people to think I was wise and had something worth saying? Why the Lord would spend time sanctifying a hot mess like myself is beyond me. I'm incredibly stubborn and refused to believe the things that the Spirit was showing me in His gentle yet very direct ways. The Lord allowed me to fail at a few things that I thought for sure I could nail, no problem. I mean, I had in the past. The failures had been a sweet spot for light to begin to poke through my foggy heart. I know that I already shared about my past five miscarriages, and the ones that I had more recently last year. That was the last time that I felt like I had the liberty to write. Until just one month before Noah was born, Stephen knew that he was going to be gone for one month during my last several weeks of pregnancy. So in his kindness, he booked a hotel for me to stay at for the night all by myself! He said, "Alright babe, you've got 24 hours all to yourself." I was so excited that I honestly did not no what to do. I checked into the hotel room, sat on the bed, and cried. Haha! I thought about my wonderful husband, sweet children, and new baby on the way, and cried some more. I got to pray, journal, listen to podcasts, read books, and even meet up with a new friend for a mom-coffee date. This new friend shared her story with me which had some similarities to my own. We both were Chaplain spouses, enjoyed reading, enjoyed writing, had three children, and had gone through multiple miscarriages. She shared with me that she and some other women were writing a book about their journeys and asked if I would consider sharing in it as well. I agreed to it and felt like this divine interaction could not be conjured up as I firmly believe 2 Corinthians 1:4 which says, "He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us." Nothing is wasted, friends. Whatever you are going through can and will be used to help someone else in one way or the other. It was a painful experience to open back up those wounds in retelling each experience I had with all 5 miscarriages, but in a way, it was extremely healing to my soul as well. We all pray that it will be an encouragement to any woman who is searching for hope in the midst of the agony of losing a child. Here's the link to get it on Amazon. Right now it is only on kindle, but hopefully (pray for this!) we can get it in paperback soon. Our Stories:Journeys from miscarriage to hope ebook