Sunday, May 3, 2015

Getting to Know...Me

Have you ever said internally or verbally to someone, "you don't even know me!" Well, I would wager that we might not even know ourselves as well as we think we do. :) I like to imagine that I am a kindhearted, fun, loving, humble, tender, and warm person most of the time. Lol! When in reality, I just described my husband, Stephen, instead. 

He and I just went to a Credo Marriage Retreat which was wonderful. The military provides an all-expense-paid weekend for spouses of active duty service members to attend training on key points in having a successful marriage. The awesome part is that Chaplain's are billeted to facilitate these trainings and are able to combine the spiritual aspect along with the normal material you would receive on this topic.

One of the focuses of our training was to take the Myers-Brigg personality test. We have done this several times before and already knew what our results would be; however, I still felt discouraged while checking off my answers to each question. "Man, I am not a very soft person," I thought to myself. "I don't like doing these tests...the truth stings." I put my pen down sadly and looked over at my adorable husband who was smiling and feeling liberated while checking off all his answers without hesitation. Ugh, the results were in and as expected it was an ISTJ for me and ENFP for my honey. Celebrities with my personality are: George Washington, Eisenhower, and a Roman Emperor. Meanwhile, my dashing husband's celebrity matches are: Walt Disney, Robin Williams...and Snoopy! :) The title of this part of the training was, "Not Wrong, Just Different," and we clearly could not be any more opposite from each other. 

For instance, when we first got married, I could plan an entire weekend of chores and "to do's" to accomplish. Each task was complete with a little box just waiting for the glorious moment of being checked off! I'm actually getting super excited right now just thinking of checking off a task. Lol! Nerd alert. To my ISTJ (Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging) self, this would be an ideal and "obviously" most logical and responsible way to spend our time. Meanwhile, my ENFP (Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving) husband, was spiraling into a depressed state just looking at ALL my boxes that needed to be checked...and to think that not one of them was going to be FUN! I could see the joy deflate as he gently tried to explain the need for some recreation on at least one of our days off. :) At the time, I was even younger and even less bright than I am now, and pridefully/stubbornly thought that I was right most of the time and refused to humble myself to see how neither of us were wrong...we were just reeeeeealllly different. God is pretty stinkin awesome, though! After 8 short years ;), He has been transforming, humbling, and guiding me into a new person. Thank God that He doesn't leave us they way he finds us! I don't like humbling myself but I'm just barely learning that when God is working out a kink in my life, the process is WAY easier when I stop fighting and just allow Him to chisel away. 

That just reminded me of my wild son, Micah, and how he hates getting clean. Almost daily he dumps full buckets of dirt on his head and looks at me with a brown face, big mischievous blue eyes, and grins with shiny white teeth. I probably wouldn't care as much if I wasn't 9 months prego and bending over to give baths is a work out these days. Lol Anyway, he kicks and thrashes when I wipe his face or hands that sometimes I have to hold him tightly to get him clean. I imagine that's what I'm like sometimes when God is trying to "create a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me." I have to learn to trust that He is for me and sanctification is a lifelong process. So while I am naturally a more Introverted, Factual/Sensing, Thinking/Logical, and Judging/Planning person, that does NOT give me a license to say "that's just the way I am, I've always been this way, or Sorry...not sorry cause I'm just gunna do me!" Lol The Chaplain encouraged us to know and work on the areas that we are weaker in, and to view others as uniquely different than ourselves...we are not superior to one another (shocker, I know) ;). This reminder really helped me to value Stephen's (and other's) differences and to allow him to teach me through his life how to work on the strengths he possesses naturally. I remember our pre-marital counselors telling us that we will be learning in our relationship for the rest of our lives. That's encouraging to know that we have hopefully 45+ years of time to be perfected. ;)

I've been writing about my marriage relationship but the most important is our relationship with God. If you haven't ever heard that Jesus did what no one else could do by laying down his sinless life to be crucified for our sins and wrong choices...than you have no idea what you are missing out on. There's no greater love than that of Jesus' for you. He formed us in our mother's womb, he designed us perfectly, and knows us better than we know yourselves. He willing paid the price for our sins, laid down his life on the cross, was buried, God raised Him from the dead, and Jesus now sits at the right hand of God in Heaven where he makes intercessions for us. Even now he fiercely pursues us out of his great love and desire that "no one should perish, no not one." The Bible says in Romans to confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that God raised Jesus from the dead and you will be saved/rescued. The decision to make Jesus the leader of your life is in your hands. Eternal life is a free gift that is yours for the taking...just reach out to Him, the One who paid for it. ❤️

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