Saturday, January 21, 2012

Story of a Woman's Trip to a Public Restroom....

I'm not sure who wrote this but it is hilarious and painfully true. :) Had to share...

"When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.

Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants!

The dispenser for the modern 'seat covers' (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't -so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR! ), yank down your pants, and assume 'The Stance.'

In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You’d love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold 'The Stance.' To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, 'Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!' Your thighs shake more.

You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that’s still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail. Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door
hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. 'Occupied!' you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT

... It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would
be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, 'You just don't KNOWwhat kind of diseases you could get.'

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.

At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic
sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting.

You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe.(Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, 'Here, you just
might need this.'

As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, 'What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?' :)

....This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with public restrooms
(rest??? You've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!"

Thursday, January 12, 2012

To that Stud I Married 5 Years Ago:

"I will probably hurt you someday even though it's the last thing I would ever want to do." Those were not the words this young, bride-to-be wanted to hear from her handsome, could-do-no-wrong, fiance! Sure, we had been to premarital counseling (which I'm a HUGE fan of!) and our awesome counselors helped us take off our rose colored glasses to get a vision of what marriage might actually really be like. But still...I didn't like thinking about the honest reality of Stephen's statement. The truth is, five years later, we both have said things in the heat of a moment that we probably regret, spent hours stubbornly "stone walling" (ok...that was all me), and made selfish decisions. But God has been so gracious and given us a taste of His love for us through our love for one another. As our true selves are exposed and our character flaws come to the surface, we have the opportunity to practice loving in spite of those shortcomings. I'll never night a few years ago, I felt like my world was coming undone, I couldn't keep it together, and I didn't want Stephen to even look at me. I felt humiliated and the tears wouldn't stop flowing. Stephen just scooped me up into his arms, let me cry, and whispered life giving truths to my heart. There was no condemnation or disappointment in his eyes...only fierce love for me....

 It was then that I got a deeper sense of how much God must love me! If He could give this incredibly forgiving, passionate, and supernatural love to Stephen to share with me. How much MORE must He desire us...desire our vulnerability, time, tears, and all those things we get to experience as a couple that strengthens our relationship?

Being married to this adorable man for 5 years has been the best time of my life. :) I love that I get to discover more about him daily. He challenges me constantly which I love, hate, and definitely need! lol I tell him that he's my favorite preacher and I actually mean that. Stephen has such a wonderful way of being real, honest, and passionate about his job as a husband, father, and Chaplain. He inspires me! I am so proud of him...

He also drives me crazy sometimes! ;) If you know Stephen, than you know he has another love....mmmmmotorcycles. One of our very first conversations almost 10 yrs ago went something like this: "Stephen, motorcycles are so dangerous! You could easily get killed on one of those death traps." He replied nonchalantly, "No, they're not that dangerous. Do you know that more people die in car accidents than on motorcycles?" ....Little did I know that after we got married, we would spend many more hours talking about motorcycles and I would even ride on them with him! God has helped me come to the conclusion (even after one of his bikes flipped, threw him off, and then blew up) that only He can keep Stephen safe. That has been something that I have thought about many times over these past two deployments also! Stephen was created with something inside him that craves risks and almost life threatening experiences.  One time Stephen rreminded me that all of those things are what probably attracted me to him in the first place! ;) Unfortunately, he was right.  ...His big blue eyes, perfect smile, and charming personality might have had something to do with it too.  I love that man SO much!

I love you, Stephen Thomas Griffin! I'm looking forward to you coming home soon and for many more years to come. xox

All these pictures were taken by my wonderful friend, Hannah, while Stephen was home for R&R in October. She does great work which you can see more of here!

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Holidays with my families!

 Christmas started early as my mum came out to visit the 2nd week of December! I picked her up from the airport and we started a road trip right away to TN where my sister, Shantell, has recently relocated to. Here's some of my Bowling family (we missed you, Jared!). Left to Right: Bro-in-law, John, Serena, Tpot, Me, Mum, Shantell, Johnny III, Jasmine, Sara, Julianna, and little Paisley. This was all of us at Cracker Barrel. Love these people!!

 Little Tierzah with her Granny in our backyard. She enjoyed playing with her and soaking up all the attention and love.

 Action shot of Tpot "running" throughout her Uncle Jeff and Aunt Suzanne's house in Richmond on Christmas morning. :) My neighbor let us use this walker and as you can makes her very happy.

 All dressed and ready for Christmas lunch at Carole's house. We missed Stephen but it was great to be surrounded by family.

 This picture should be towards the top but oh well. :) It was taken in TN on the "Bowling Christmas" day. Granny with ALL the grandwaens (as they say in Scotland)

 Grandma Griffin got T an adorable outfit and she wore it for her 3rd Christmas celebration. lol The Griffin family got together in MD to exchange gifts and bring in the new year. While Aunt Deborah was helping to stand Tierzah up for pictures in her pretty dress, she slowly backed away from her allowing Tpot to stand ALL BY HERSELF for the first time! :) The best part is that Grandma actually got it on her camera! I was so excited for her. She isn't walking on her own yet...but it's a step in the right direction.

 "Christmas morning" in MD. Here are all the Griffin grandkids: Tierzah, Eva, Grant, Ellie, Laina, Jenna, Ethan, Abigail, and Caleb. They are SO cute!

 Just after midnight on New Years Eve, Stephen skyped us from Kuwait. 2012 was old news to him as he is 8 hours ahead of us. :) Once our clocks caught up with his, he gave us a call to welcome us to the new year! This is a picture that makes me smile...It's his sisters, Mom, and brother-in-law: Rachel, Suzanne, Mom, Deborah, Cheryl, and Paul. This kind of gives you an idea of how most families of deployed service members spend part of every special occasion.

 After Stephen got to say hello to the family, I stole him and went on the front porch to say sweet nothings. :) This is us "together" via Skype app. Everyday around 2pm EST (10pm Kuwait time), you'll find me somewhere in my house looking just like this. Well, I don't look exactly like this, I may have food on my hair or clothes thanks to Tpot, and I also may not have done my hair or make up for a few days...but you get the idea. ;) As everyone was kissing their loved ones, I'm thankful I at least got to see my handsome stud.

The 1st day of January, Little Miss woke up bright and early at 6am. So we headed over to Aunt Deborah's house for breakfast. It didn't take her long to figure out how her cousin, Caleb's, "motorcycle" worked. lol
She's a girl after her daddy's heart.